Exploring The Client's Behaviour
Much of coaching is about behavioural change, in the majority of cases clients will come to you with a goal which is linked to this. Behaviour doesn't sit in a vacuum it's impacted by underlying thoughts, emotions, beliefs, relationships, self identity, nervous system state, stress and motivation. By supporting your clients to look at what underpins their behaviour you can build self awareness and help them to consider new ways forward.
Your clients may come to sessions wanting to change their own behaviour or explore relationships or situations which they've found themselves in. How anyone behaves is complex therefore having space to reflect, explore and understand both their own behaviours and that of others can in itself be transformational.
This can look like:
- When a client is exploring their own behaviour or wanting to change behaviour you might also explore emotions and thoughts as well as use neuroscience-backed ways to build new neural pathways which underpin behavioural change
- Your clients may be interested in understanding different patterns of behaviour they exhibit, you can use tools such as transactional analysis to help evoke new awareness of what is going on
- In relationships, it can be useful to explore different perceptual positions to help your clients see other viewpoints and consider what else could be going on : this can support a greater understanding and empathy in relationships.
- Understanding the nervous system and how it impacts how we respond can help clients to be more compassionate to themselves and others and to consider what they need in relationships
- The interplay between thoughts, emotions, beliefs and intuition can be a great way for clients to understand their behaviour
We explore behaviour throughout the courses focusing on it in more in transactional models in module 2 , in module 3&4, in Neuroscience and in Transactional analysis / psychodynamic coaching.
Are you wondering how this can show up in a coaching session? We share some examples below which can give you clarity on how you can apply this concept to real life coaching scenarios.
Why It’s Important:
Many of your client’s behaviors are habitual, whether they’re positive or negative. Recognizing these patterns allows you to help them break unproductive habits and establish new, healthier ones.
Example:
Imagine a client who consistently procrastinates on important work tasks, despite being capable and motivated. By understanding this behaviour, the coach can explore the reasons behind it—whether it’s fear of failure, perfectionism, poor time management or something else. The coach could say, “ You've shared that you often put off starting big projects, what do you feel is going on? or "What do you notice about your thoughts when you're feeling stuck?" or "What motivates you to take action". You always tailor your questions to what you're noticing your client saying / not saying so these would often be a starting point. The goal with all of these questions is to give the client space to explore what else is going on and what they can change.
Why It’s Important:
Behaviour is often influenced by how a client makes decisions. Some clients may act impulsively, while others may be overly cautious or avoidant. Understanding how your client makes decisions helps you guide them toward more effective choices.
Example:
A client might be facing a career decision but tends to avoid making decisions because of a fear of failure. The coach might notice this pattern and ask, “What would make you feel confident to make this decision?" or "What's stopping you from making the decision?" or "How will you feel when you've made the decision?" All of these questions are designed to help the client get new insight. When you ask future focus questions it can support the client be in more of a positive state which can give them more cognitive resource and enhance decision making. Keeping questions simple and one at a time is equally supportive in working with the clients brain. NB: When you ask a question about barriers / what could stop a client it can put them into a threat state so notice their body language / nervous system response.
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